Monday, January 21, 2013

The Heartless Pen Cuts Like Ice

Some people believe that laughter is the best medicine. If this is so, then I'm the healthiest man alive right now, laughing at them. That was a lie, I'm not laughing. But I simply don't buy that bologna for a minute.

You see, I've always been of the mind myself that ambiguity is the best medicine. Vaguely speaking, it helps people because it gets them to think they're being helped. Whether whatever it is is actually helping people doesn't really matter. It's like the chairman of the FED reporting on what they're up to. Everyone ends up smiling and nodding and generally feeling better without actually knowing anything more than before he'd spoken.

Now, not all ambiguity is a good thing, of course. If you said, 'Eat that bagel or else!' Then the person or thing you were speaking roughly to has only to imagine what the 'or else' might be. And, unless they're a terrifically optimistic person, they are automatically going to assume you mean to do them harm in some way.

So, really, I believe upbeat ambiguity to be the best medicine. Hand a person a pill and say, 'This will help you heart regulate itself to Mozart's Die Entf├╝hrung aus dem Serail, even when you're not listening to it,' and no one will believe you. Of course, if you hand a person a pill and say, 'This is good for indigestion,' then voila! They'll probably be feeling better in the morning.

'What does ambiguity have to do with anything, Gabe?' who might ask. Everything! Detach yourself and float, for a figurative moment, through ambiguous, fleeting emotions that fake you into thinking you're okay! It's fun! Whee!

Cut the cord to your heart, stop listening to that nagging conscience! Do what you like, it's okay! Don't look any deeper, ignore the discrepancies, bend every message to what you believe! Better yet, believe nothing. It's better that way.

There. Wasn't that the best? I know pretending life is a meaningless, soppy mire of ambiguous nothing makes me feel better! I'm sure it'll do it for you too. Never mind the fact that it never lasts. Just take another dose, you'll be okay. >=)

*breaks suddenly* Sorry, sorry. For the past three paragraphs you've been free falling into the Sar-casm. If you'd gone any farther, you might have died. Or been eaten by a grue, but same diff really. I've just saved your life. Aren't you thrilled? No? Well, laugh. It's the best medicine. You'll feel right as rain in no time.

Digressing a bit, but have you ever wondered about the term, 'bushwacked?' No? Neither have I until just now when I got a sudden mental image of someone getting smacked full in the face with a cactus. That would wake them up. Sorry to have bushwacked you, folks, but I don't actually believe that either laughter or ambiguity are the best medicines. I'd rather not live in a Disney movie where everyone is laughing off their troubles, or in a Tennessee William's play where you approach everything at a ninety degree angle just to make sure you miss it.

Truth to tell, I believe reality is the best medicine. And, no, I'm not talking about something you watch on Tv. Don't make me puke. I'm talking about the driving rain that one needs run through to get to work, or that sinking feeling one has to swallow when one gets that test score back, or the terrifying, unimaginable physical pain of giving birth. That sorrow you feel, the guilt that eats away at you, when you do something wrong? THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU! It's not that it makes you stronger even. It's that it drives you closer to God.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” - 1 Peter 5:6-7

Jesus can take all you cares, your sorrows, and your pains. Jesus is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. Jesus is the best medicine. And that's a fact kids. Take it to the bank.


  1. A truly amazing blog, from the brilliant title to the insightful moral.
    "...ambiguity is the best medicine. Vaguely speaking, it helps people..." I love it!
    "For the past three paragraphs you've been free falling into the Sar-casm." Hilarious!
    "a Tennessee William's play where you approach everything at a ninety degree angle just to make sure you miss it." Most concise description of his writing ever.
    Besides being a delicious example of your frolicsome genius, this blog contains a powerful dose of the truth we all need to hear. I'd like to see your blogs published to a wider audience. Thanks for this.

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