I stepped down the stairs. (Or did I float?) The jaded halls were nothing more than color to me, and it made me laugh. Tear-drop stains on mahogany rugs give me shivers of half sympathy, half joy. The window at the bottom of the spiral slid open without a sound.
People say, "Life is but a dream," but what they really mean is, "What is life without dreams?" A monotonous stream of forgettable instances that never really mattered in the first place? What are dreams, then? There are those you have and those you want, if you know what I mean.
Do you know? The street lights claimed to, as I drifted passed. "The sky's the limit!" they say as well, but they never say where it begins. The stars seem so close in their artificiality, but the enormity of their reality is truly so far away. But I can travel there in the blink of an eye…
There are the hills, and I stray from my meanderings. Do I know it all? Do I know enough? No, and yes, respectively. There's the bus, crying mournfully as it comes to rest. The rain falls in patterns on the funny little roofs here… Now the hills are much closer.
What do I know enough of? I know my Lord Jesus. And He knows me.
Such hills! They must have a spring under them somewhere. They're such a deep green they must glow! (In this dusk, at least.) I'm making for them properly now. The bus has rumbled to life again and its eyes go dancing away into the rain.
I don't pretend to ramble, I do ramble. And such nonsense, too! I should get points for that. But you'll get points if you know what I mean. That is, if you do… Feelings are sometimes such hard things to grasp, and all the time even harder to touch on.
It's far easier to float with them, as I do now. I'm among the hills. Life calls out to me, calling His name. Once a bare hill outside Jerusalem, now lusher with Life than the liveliest of men. He who seeks to save his life dreams for himself, but he who loses himself lives Life's dreams. The great success of men are the simplest plans of God.
So, I dream and I float, but I'm not long gone. Only a stone's throw away, far past the Emerald Hills. Don't worry for me, I'll wake with the dawn. On the crystal clear day, somewhere past the Emerald Hills.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Blogging, A Dead Horse
You, all of you, have no idea how many of these blog entries I want to begin with, "Okay, so…" and then go on to make profuse apologies about one thing or another that I have failed at miserably at. It happens more times than I can count, except that the reason I was going to start this blog entry with regretful mourning sorta precludes that from being true… (It's only really true because I do it across more than one medium.)
You see, I am tearfully sorry that I have failed to crank out blog entries more often. But instead of saying all that (oh, too late…), I'm going to focus on praising. Yes, the positive instead of the negative, you say. That's part of it, but really praising is the reason I started this particular blog entry. Frankly, I've had a wonderful day and I would like to thank God publicly for making it so.
I was terrified of today. I wanted it not to happen. But, it did, and I pulled myself out of bed at 4 AM still terrified. So, right after I hit the alarm clock, I got on my knees and gave the day away. I gave it to God because I could see no good coming of it if I went at it alone. I knew I had to preform a little better, a little faster today then I had previously, and I knew I didn't have it in me at all. So, I thanked God for the day, I gave it away to Him (after all, it was rightfully His anyways. He brought it into being, made it be), and prayed fervently that He would empower me to get through it all better, faster, and in a way pleasing Him and glorifying to Him.
And He fully, and completely answered those prayers. He gave me love for my work and co-workers that felt odd, but made me smile. He granted me joy in a joyless situation (I got to work and the manager didn't show up, making it impossible to get in and prep for opening! =D). He filled me with peace as we worked through the emergency. He bestowed on me patience far above what I could ever produce. He made me feel kind, and I sincerely hope it showed through me (because, folks, that wasn't me). I sincerely believe that He accomplished something good with me today, which makes me giddy. He made in me more faithfulness then this fickle human being could ever have imagined. He changed my approach, made it gentle and soft. And He grew in me a self-control that made ever decision a firm resolve.
And that's about all I can say. God is so completely amazing. I gave Him the day, and He gave it right back to me. ^__^ It was an awesome day, thanks alone to my Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You.
You see, I am tearfully sorry that I have failed to crank out blog entries more often. But instead of saying all that (oh, too late…), I'm going to focus on praising. Yes, the positive instead of the negative, you say. That's part of it, but really praising is the reason I started this particular blog entry. Frankly, I've had a wonderful day and I would like to thank God publicly for making it so.
I was terrified of today. I wanted it not to happen. But, it did, and I pulled myself out of bed at 4 AM still terrified. So, right after I hit the alarm clock, I got on my knees and gave the day away. I gave it to God because I could see no good coming of it if I went at it alone. I knew I had to preform a little better, a little faster today then I had previously, and I knew I didn't have it in me at all. So, I thanked God for the day, I gave it away to Him (after all, it was rightfully His anyways. He brought it into being, made it be), and prayed fervently that He would empower me to get through it all better, faster, and in a way pleasing Him and glorifying to Him.
And He fully, and completely answered those prayers. He gave me love for my work and co-workers that felt odd, but made me smile. He granted me joy in a joyless situation (I got to work and the manager didn't show up, making it impossible to get in and prep for opening! =D). He filled me with peace as we worked through the emergency. He bestowed on me patience far above what I could ever produce. He made me feel kind, and I sincerely hope it showed through me (because, folks, that wasn't me). I sincerely believe that He accomplished something good with me today, which makes me giddy. He made in me more faithfulness then this fickle human being could ever have imagined. He changed my approach, made it gentle and soft. And He grew in me a self-control that made ever decision a firm resolve.
And that's about all I can say. God is so completely amazing. I gave Him the day, and He gave it right back to me. ^__^ It was an awesome day, thanks alone to my Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Glow
So you know
Where you go
When you glow
In the dark,
But you can't glow in the dark alone.
So your tears come down
Your cries come out,
Letting them see
The living doubt,
That you must be and own.
"Help my unbelief"
You tearfully call,
Make me see
That you can do it all,
That you wipe away my fall.
So I know
That I glow
Wherever I go
In this dark,
'Cause I'm reminded I'm never alone.
Where you go
When you glow
In the dark,
But you can't glow in the dark alone.
So your tears come down
Your cries come out,
Letting them see
The living doubt,
That you must be and own.
"Help my unbelief"
You tearfully call,
Make me see
That you can do it all,
That you wipe away my fall.
So I know
That I glow
Wherever I go
In this dark,
'Cause I'm reminded I'm never alone.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Short Update!
Nanowrimo is in full swing! That is, National Novel Writing Month. It's that time of year when every serious novelist (and amateurs too) sit down and crank out fifty-thousand words of a novel! Hopefully, that's about the length of the novel, but it's a decent start if nothing else.
This is my first Nanowrimo, folks, and it has been thrilling! Well, more like draining. And fantastic. I'm at 14,259 words so far, below par because I burned out yesterday. But I'm not giving up! Actually, I've already succeeded beyond my wildest imaginations! As a working college student, I didn't think I'd get this far at all.
But here I am! With half an outline, the start of an amazing map, and 14,259 words of my second novel, folks! And boy is it a dozy. And you know why? God gave it to me. I love the stories he grants me. ^__^ They're always so amazing!
This one is about a city; about the people there. The little boy, the stranger, the young woman, the police chief, the mayor and his wife, the reporter, the doctor, and the inn keeper. It's a story about a night-time in all their lives, and it's so exciting to be the writer of it!
And that's all I'm gonna say for now. See ya all next time! =D
This is my first Nanowrimo, folks, and it has been thrilling! Well, more like draining. And fantastic. I'm at 14,259 words so far, below par because I burned out yesterday. But I'm not giving up! Actually, I've already succeeded beyond my wildest imaginations! As a working college student, I didn't think I'd get this far at all.
But here I am! With half an outline, the start of an amazing map, and 14,259 words of my second novel, folks! And boy is it a dozy. And you know why? God gave it to me. I love the stories he grants me. ^__^ They're always so amazing!
This one is about a city; about the people there. The little boy, the stranger, the young woman, the police chief, the mayor and his wife, the reporter, the doctor, and the inn keeper. It's a story about a night-time in all their lives, and it's so exciting to be the writer of it!
And that's all I'm gonna say for now. See ya all next time! =D
Saturday, October 15, 2011
A Theme
The notes strike like hammers in my heart. A song of gaiety, but I only feel sad… Pools of clear black reflect back the world that dares peek into them. Is it true what we see? Is everything really embroiled in a flat mire of the glossiest black? Oh, God, save us from this pit!
Why do these emotions rest on me? Why does my chest think it's been split open like a chunk of wood split in two? A grayish mist fills the vale and I suppose I've said too much. But who really does? Speaking out of turn maybe; speaking the wrong things, all the time. But truly too many people say too little too late…
On Judgment Day, every word that was ever spoken will echo forth again. Then more words will be spoken for every word that was spoken, to give some account of them. If only one word is spoken for every word that was, then that's twice as many words as ever were. …Will there even then be enough?
Words can sooth the human heart. Words can assuage the wounds of the soul. But is anyone intent on this art? Does anyone care about what they say? Does anyone take care what they say? "I don't know how," is not good enough. Not by a long shot if you're a living, breathing, speaking human being. You must learn how or you must die trying, it's as straight forward as that.
Pray! Pray, for God will hear you. Not one of his words will fall to the ground, and he will lift you up on the wings of eagles! To soar among the clouds… What a difference from being stuck in a mire.
That song is back. With it, some of the gaiety has returned. There is an understanding in it, like the understanding between leaves and wind. Two hands, one holding another. Two voices, laughing and talking; saying words that matter, from the heart. Supporting, building, holding one another aloft. Through it all there's the song, like a third someone. He it is that holds the two together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "…a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05eArjS92oM&feature=related
Why do these emotions rest on me? Why does my chest think it's been split open like a chunk of wood split in two? A grayish mist fills the vale and I suppose I've said too much. But who really does? Speaking out of turn maybe; speaking the wrong things, all the time. But truly too many people say too little too late…
On Judgment Day, every word that was ever spoken will echo forth again. Then more words will be spoken for every word that was spoken, to give some account of them. If only one word is spoken for every word that was, then that's twice as many words as ever were. …Will there even then be enough?
Words can sooth the human heart. Words can assuage the wounds of the soul. But is anyone intent on this art? Does anyone care about what they say? Does anyone take care what they say? "I don't know how," is not good enough. Not by a long shot if you're a living, breathing, speaking human being. You must learn how or you must die trying, it's as straight forward as that.
Pray! Pray, for God will hear you. Not one of his words will fall to the ground, and he will lift you up on the wings of eagles! To soar among the clouds… What a difference from being stuck in a mire.
That song is back. With it, some of the gaiety has returned. There is an understanding in it, like the understanding between leaves and wind. Two hands, one holding another. Two voices, laughing and talking; saying words that matter, from the heart. Supporting, building, holding one another aloft. Through it all there's the song, like a third someone. He it is that holds the two together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "…a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05eArjS92oM&feature=related
Monday, October 10, 2011
Forgive them, forgive them, forgive… them.
When the whistle's blowing,
And the bells are tolling,
And the captain 's nodding farewell.
When the ships arriving,
And the harbours thriving,
Will the Judgement gavel fell?
…Are you afraid of going to hell?
I'm not sure of much of what to say. In fact, I think I can't say much of anything anyway right now, because of my mind. My mind is fine except I can't find it, but that's a fine line of mine to walk. You see, a migraine is a pain until it'll wane and to think is in vain, unless you think along a vein that isn't particularly sane. But I think the vein that my mind would walk along isn't vain because it is sane, thanks to God's good grace that is mine. He gave it to me and set me free, which makes me giddy, and jittery to boot. I know what I say can't win the day, by itself anyway, but God has a way of making it okay, cause it's Jesus' Day, and that makes me say, "Yay!" I don't fear the reaper or the Judgement gavel, cause this is God's day and this is his battle.
I'll say this though, and it says it all. Forgive cause he forgave you. Forgive for that is your call. Love because he loved you. Love and forgive them all.
And the bells are tolling,
And the captain 's nodding farewell.
When the ships arriving,
And the harbours thriving,
Will the Judgement gavel fell?
…Are you afraid of going to hell?
I'm not sure of much of what to say. In fact, I think I can't say much of anything anyway right now, because of my mind. My mind is fine except I can't find it, but that's a fine line of mine to walk. You see, a migraine is a pain until it'll wane and to think is in vain, unless you think along a vein that isn't particularly sane. But I think the vein that my mind would walk along isn't vain because it is sane, thanks to God's good grace that is mine. He gave it to me and set me free, which makes me giddy, and jittery to boot. I know what I say can't win the day, by itself anyway, but God has a way of making it okay, cause it's Jesus' Day, and that makes me say, "Yay!" I don't fear the reaper or the Judgement gavel, cause this is God's day and this is his battle.
I'll say this though, and it says it all. Forgive cause he forgave you. Forgive for that is your call. Love because he loved you. Love and forgive them all.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Jesus is God. Period.
I mean no disrespect to those who disagree with my subject, but I would encourage you not to shy away from this because of it. Follow my train of thought, see if it doesn't make any sense. See if doesn't move you. Then you can be turned off. ;)
Simply put, my argument is that Jesus is God - must be God - because that is the only way that he could, can, and will accomplish his role as Savior of mankind. Sin, by definition, is the factor that separates us from God, and that separation is the state that we are all born into; that we all live in, by God's good grace, until the day that we die. Jesus' role as savior is to void that separation and to bring us into communion with God; to bridge the gap between us and God by wiping away our sins.
For Jesus to accomplish this goal implies two fundamental things about his nature. First and foremost he must have lived a perfect, sinless human life to measure up to the task of paying for our sins. Because, since all sin - even the smallest little disobedience (like eating fruit God told you not to eat) - leads to a debt to death - set forward by God in Genesis, Jesus could only have paid for all of it, or any of it, if he had not acquired any of this debt to death himself. He had to be clean and undeserving of death to pay the price for our sins; to pay our debt to death.
Secondly, but more importantly (yet sadly it gets overlooked more often), Jesus must be fully God and fully man to reconcile us to God. Because, as I said, sin separates us from God - separates the created from the creator - Jesus, to bring us - God and man - back together, must have an intimate knowledge of both us and God. To be the bridge that reunites us and God he must have come from, must always be, fully God and fully man. He cannot be just and angel or a prophet, because - as history shows us - both of these classes of being have been tainted by sin and are therefore imperfect. Satan was an angel and fell, becoming the father of lies. Moses was a prophet and fell, dying without reaching the promised land. Angels and prophets by themselves cannot be perfect (because, by definition, to be by themselves would be a state of separation from God, their creator, which, as I already established, is sin), and we only see them in the right when they are following the will of God. For Jesus to be the perfect, unity bringing being that his role necessitates he be, he has to be fully God. He cannot just be following the will of God, although that is part of his role, he must be the Will of God. He must be the physical manifestation of God's Will and want to wipe away our sins or else he would be inadequate to the task. More than that, he would have no place in wiping our slates clean, because it is against God and God alone that we have all sinned and fallen short of his Glory. He must be fully God to pay the price and fully man to be the right vessel that was broken and poured out for our sins. Not only is it the best way for Jesus to be our savior, it is the only way for him to take on that role.
I feel I could delve into this all day, because I haven't even touched the part about Jesus' role on earth being an illustration for us has to how we should live our earthly lives in communion with God. For him to be that physical illustration, he had to be the physical manifestation of both God and man; the physical manifestation of the spiritual life we are to live through his perfect, God strength. I must leave off, however. It's a topic for another day, maybe.
John 1:1-5 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (emphasis, or bold, added by me)
Simply put, my argument is that Jesus is God - must be God - because that is the only way that he could, can, and will accomplish his role as Savior of mankind. Sin, by definition, is the factor that separates us from God, and that separation is the state that we are all born into; that we all live in, by God's good grace, until the day that we die. Jesus' role as savior is to void that separation and to bring us into communion with God; to bridge the gap between us and God by wiping away our sins.
For Jesus to accomplish this goal implies two fundamental things about his nature. First and foremost he must have lived a perfect, sinless human life to measure up to the task of paying for our sins. Because, since all sin - even the smallest little disobedience (like eating fruit God told you not to eat) - leads to a debt to death - set forward by God in Genesis, Jesus could only have paid for all of it, or any of it, if he had not acquired any of this debt to death himself. He had to be clean and undeserving of death to pay the price for our sins; to pay our debt to death.
Secondly, but more importantly (yet sadly it gets overlooked more often), Jesus must be fully God and fully man to reconcile us to God. Because, as I said, sin separates us from God - separates the created from the creator - Jesus, to bring us - God and man - back together, must have an intimate knowledge of both us and God. To be the bridge that reunites us and God he must have come from, must always be, fully God and fully man. He cannot be just and angel or a prophet, because - as history shows us - both of these classes of being have been tainted by sin and are therefore imperfect. Satan was an angel and fell, becoming the father of lies. Moses was a prophet and fell, dying without reaching the promised land. Angels and prophets by themselves cannot be perfect (because, by definition, to be by themselves would be a state of separation from God, their creator, which, as I already established, is sin), and we only see them in the right when they are following the will of God. For Jesus to be the perfect, unity bringing being that his role necessitates he be, he has to be fully God. He cannot just be following the will of God, although that is part of his role, he must be the Will of God. He must be the physical manifestation of God's Will and want to wipe away our sins or else he would be inadequate to the task. More than that, he would have no place in wiping our slates clean, because it is against God and God alone that we have all sinned and fallen short of his Glory. He must be fully God to pay the price and fully man to be the right vessel that was broken and poured out for our sins. Not only is it the best way for Jesus to be our savior, it is the only way for him to take on that role.
I feel I could delve into this all day, because I haven't even touched the part about Jesus' role on earth being an illustration for us has to how we should live our earthly lives in communion with God. For him to be that physical illustration, he had to be the physical manifestation of both God and man; the physical manifestation of the spiritual life we are to live through his perfect, God strength. I must leave off, however. It's a topic for another day, maybe.
John 1:1-5 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (emphasis, or bold, added by me)
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