Thursday, November 20, 2014

Life, Writing, & More!

Where to start… I guess feelings, then updates, and thoughts. We'll go from there.

I've been feeling eclectic, enthusiastic, vaguely nostalgic, rather productive, and even more worn out. It's made me an interesting person to be around lately, let me tell you. To give you a sampling my lunch today was a hotpocket which I slit open and stuffed with taco leftovers, cheese, and tabasco sauce. If that isn't eclectic I don't know what is. From there I left for OCC volunteering (Operation Christmas Child), enthusiastically leaping into carton stuffing and stacking (these cartons average about 50 lbs).

Being there doing OCC stuff is nostalgic for me, bringing me back years to when I was more involved. I can remember the fun we all had and how tough it was too… During the downtimes I've been alternating between paying bills, writing my novel, and doing homework (this counts as productive, I swear). By the end of it all I am every bit as worn out as it sounds like I ought to be (plus a little more so, since I've been working early mornings as well.)

It's great though and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. To update y'all: I'm already nearly halfway to my goal for my novel (I want 25,000 words from just writing in November). Plus, the semester is rapidly drawing to a close, meaning that college is as well! Yippee! From there who knows what could happen! It's all very exciting.


My thoughts on it all are very scattered… Theres a bit of trepidation about what God has in store, really. Then again, when isn't there? Part of the fun of life has always been the surprises and seeing His working through it all. Whatever comes next I am so very excited for it and for the good that He will accomplish.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

I went to see interstellar last weekend and it has taken me nearly a week to collect my thoughts on the matter. On the whole, as a movie, it was a great one. It had a fantastic cast that acted superbly, it was mind-blowingly beautiful, and it had one of the best scores of music I have ever heard in film. Sounds like I should be raving about the movie, telling all my friends to go see it right? Sadly there was one fatal flaw with this particular movie that soured the whole experience for me. It was like a delicious apple, up until the moment you realize it harbors a worm that is rotting out the core.
Let me be perfectly clear: the denouement fell flat. In other words the climax of the movie ruined it. It is hard to say that because I so love so many of Christopher Nolan’s movies and I wanted so badly for this one to come through as well. And it really seemed like it had a chance, like it was going to make it, like everything could still come out okay, right up until the main character, Cooper, drops himself into a blackhole.
“Do not go gentle into that good night…”
The set up is that (yes, I’m about to spoil everything for you. Run and watch the movie if you don’t want me to, but then come back and read what I have to say) all of mankind is on the brink of that good night. That they have come to the end and that without another planet to survive on mankind will disappear for good. But as luck (or is it fate?) would have it a wormhole opens up nearby and enables interstellar travel to a distant space galaxy with possibly habitable planets.
So the main characters need to find out if any of them are habitable and come back and let everyone else know. From there they have two plans. Plan A is to actually get a huge space-station that they’ve already built off the ground and out there with the rest of humanity on board and Plan B is to colonize the world with banks of fertilized human eggs waiting to be born and raised (If you’re having trouble with that one as well, I understand, but suspend your disbelief for a little longer. It gets a whole lot worse.)
Plan A has a fundamental flaw: humans haven’t yet harnessed gravity, so they can’t get the huge space station off the ground. The old man scientist (brilliantly played by Michael Cain) is working on it, but his formula isn’t complete. The main characters fly off anyways to find out if any of the planets are habitable while the scientist continues his work on the formula. Epic trials occur that try all the characters and we get to see some pretty amazing stuff. Through a series of bad decisions, though, they are left with a damaged ship and only half the crew they had at first, with not even enough fuel to get to the last possible planet.
Luckily there’s this huge blackhole very close by that they’re getting sucked into and that they figure out that they can use to slingshot themselves away to the last planet. They have to expend every last ounce of fuel in doing so, though, and they have to lose both shuttles to make the ship lighter. The shuttles need to be manned because they are being used to aid in the flight until their fuel is gone. After that the shuttles get dropped and make the ship lighter, enabling the slingshot thingy to occur.
The main character is in one of the shuttles manning it (a robot is in the other). The other character, Amelia, thought he was going to come join her after the shuttle needed to be dropped, but last second he says bye and drops himself with the shuttle into the blackhole.
Now, in order to fully understand this decision I need to explain some background. Cooper left earth promising his daughter, Murph, he would be back. He gave her a watch, saying that it didn’t matter how long it took or how old they were when they saw each other finally; he would come back. After that they get out into space and near the blackhole and the main characters start talking about the theoretical possibility that they can use the blackhole as a means of travel back to earth. They start talking about the possibility that gravity, like time, transcends space somehow and that they can harness it to get back home.
Rewind back to the beginning, to what got Cooper into space in the first place. There’s a weird, unexplained phenomena that his daughter is calling a ghost pushing books off her shelves and playing with the dust in her room. It reveals through binary the coordinates of the secret NASA base where Cooper finds himself asked to save mankind. When he decides to accept, his daughter rails against his decision, telling him to stay; telling him that the ghost was trying to communicate the word “stay” by dropping the books. The best explanation that they can come up with for this phenomena is “gravity.”
Such a pathetic explanation will never, ever do in a Christopher Nolan movie, so I knew that a better explanation had to be coming. The scientists believe some sentient life form placed the wormhole because that is the only possible reason for its existence and that some sentient beings are using the gravity phenomenon to get their attention and bring them out to these habitable planets.
Such sentiments about higher sentient beings got my attention and I started wondering if a Hollywood blockbuster might actually include God in the plotline. I should have thought twice; should have considered the history of Hollywood and their disrespect for God. Remembering that, I might not have been surprised at the ending.
Cooper falls into the blackhole. His space shuttle gets destroyed, crushed and torn apart. He himself, though, survives somehow. And suddenly he’s in this weird plain of colors that can’t really be described at first. Then, as he starts exploring, you realize they are bookshelves, that he’s trapped behind bookshelves. Cooper is somehow trapped trans-dimensionally behind his daughter’s bookshelves years and years ago when the ghost started occurring.
The robot that was in the other shuttle and that is now trapped with him declares it fate, saying that the sentient beings must have set it up this way. Cooper rejects that, though, saying that the sentient beings are them, humans, in the future that have evolved. He then proceeds to do everything the ghost did, spelling out the word “stay” and writing the coordinates in the dust that led them to NASA.
Taking it a step further he asks the robot for the Quantum data that will help finish the old man scientist’s equation that is somehow magically observable from just being in the blackhole. He then has the robot turn said data into Morse code which he plays out on the secondhand of the watch he gave his daughter, communicating the mankind-saving message to his now grownup gal (who just happens to be a NASA scientist who studied under the old man).
She rejoices and uses the newly finished equation to harness gravity, building space stations big enough for all of humanity to escape earth. Magically, years later, Cooper is found floating out in space near where the wormhole is and he is rescued. It’s only been a few months for him, but his daughter is an old woman now, having saved all of mankind. But they get to see each other, just like he promised. It’s so touching.
Sense any sarcasm? Everything beyond the “explanation” of the ghost really soured for me, because the higher sentient beings turned out to be evolved humans. This is not just Cooper’s theorizing. We’re shown that he is, in fact, the phenomenon that the other scientists observed and called a “higher sentient being.” It is exactly what the filmmakers had in mind: That humans are great enough to succeed on their own, if only they just try hard enough.
They said, “Rage, rage against the dying of the light!” that somehow humans can make it if they only put forward enough effort. Sorry to sound critical here, but that’s a paltry, stupid excuse for a message in a movie of this caliber. It’s a copout, typical humanist Hollywood trash.
What led up to the end was mistake after mistake after mistake after mistake made by the main characters, humankind’s last hope. Lies were told, one scientist tried to murder all of them, and two others were killed by bad decision on the part of Cooper and Amelia. We are shown over and over again that human beings are frail, flawed creatures, which is so true! To have the ending be those same humans succeeding on their own steam, after trying hard enough and long enough, is just so wrong.
We need God to succeed, the hand of Grace to wash away our mistakes. That is what is true. Interstellar was a wild and fun ride most of the way through. But the humanist baloney at the end ruined it for me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have shared, since my opinion is so negative. But a Welsh poet once wrote, “Do not go gentle into that good night … Rage, Rage against the dying of the light.”
I saw this humanist foolishness put forward in interstellar and it disappointed me. But it also made me wrathful. Who are they to say these lies, and bring us closer to that “good” night? I shall rage and rage again, in hopes that the light might not die from the eyes of those around me; in hopes that the Truth get through to those that need Him.

It is a small thing, perhaps. Maybe it doesn’t even matter. But I beg of you, do not go gentle into the well-told lies of that good night. Rage, rage with me! Me might see a few more hours in the day…

Friday, August 29, 2014

The Last Semester

Everything seems to come together for this point; for this fall. You know how life can sometimes swish back away or swell up and come crashing in? This is one of those crashing times. Like the months before were all holding their breath in eager anticipation of everything that would come bursting forth come the end of August. August itself even seemed to rush by, as if saying, “Hurry up, and on with it!”
I technically don’t have time to be writing a blog entry. I ought to be constructing characters and fictional places for this weekend’s activities. But I contend that if one doesn’t stop in these hurried times to recognize, if one doesn’t take a deep breath before the plunge then you risk missing it altogether. If you don’t catch each whispered flitter of the sword or take a moment to read between the lines you most certainly run the risk of missing it; missing it all.
I posit this: Have you ever taken a moment to taste a strawberry and contemplated that it could be your last? Ignoring the obvious, what if some strange new berry disease sweeps through in the next weeks, blighting all the strawberry plants out there and in a flash making the delicious thing extinct? Stop and smell the rose, I say, for you never know if it might fall off today.
For me, this autumn is my last in school, at least for the foreseeable future. It’s another step forward and another glance back; for the gray carapaces of those mighty stepping-stones which I have come along are still there, if only in my mind’s eye. They are still there because I stole a moment to take them in, to study the touches of God there; the masterstrokes that made it all possible.

Yes, the future is bright and full with possibilities. Life will get busier and busier still. But the Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want. He it is who has shaped my life thus far and He it is who holds it in His hand. Let all glory be given to God, for that is my joy.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Day And Night

A white-marble plateau with a sprinkling of sun-baked sand spread out in wind-swept waves across it. The sun is setting straight ahead, behind bleached rocks of monumental size. The day has had a good run, but here is the night…
Night in a forsaken, parched land. Will the cold chill many hearts? Who will remember the sun? As those last rays of warmth ebb will memory be enough to conjure them back again?

Is it wrong for me to feel that we stand in the twilight hours? To look back is to see where the sun has been, to remember greatness and good deeds. Wars were fought, freedoms won, a country born and glory taken. Peace and prosperity were our songs and our blessings, like the light from the sun, washed over the land. Yet to look forward… Darkness and coldness are coming, faster and faster it seems.

Some of you might think me negative. But do not wars and rumors of wars whisper through the air? Unity was our clarion call, "United we stand!" But now… To distrust and disparage is the common attitude between brothers, and the government acts as a monster which no amount of blood or money will pacify.

Worst of all, what is it we do to our unborn? How few know the number slaughtered each year! How few bring themselves to care…

Yes, darkness is rolling over this land. But before you call me negative look back the way we've come! Look back east, to all the great things we and our forefathers did in the day. Look to the magnificence we were granted by our sovereign God!

How much good He accomplished, even through the evil intents of man! How many blessings He has bestowed, even when the very first of us deserved it as little as we! God made this country a beacon, He used us for His glory. We are part of His story by His fashioning and design. By His good-grace we came to be.

Thank you, God, for America, and for all that You have done through us. Bless those of us who remember You and recognize the works of Your Hands with good deeds as well, that we might walk through them with your guidance and in so doing bring You the glory!

Friday, July 4, 2014

Tastes Of Home

Oh to go where the streams are calling,
Oh to walk in the footsteps of ghosts.
Oh to find yourself freefalling,
Oh to give-up on all your boasts.

Oh to touch the clouds when they’re sighing,
Oh to get lost in a starry night.
Oh to let loose with crying
Oh, Lord, stop my heart’s flight.

Oh to remember evenings past!
Rekindle creations romance once more…
Youth’s tears that fell too fast,
A flame you knew in your core.

Come back to me! Come back to me.
Awaken again this heart of stone.
Give me more than a taste, oh God!
Of that place that calls me home.

Friday, June 27, 2014

This Isn't The End


What if you stood on the crest of a hill and knew in the crevices of your soul that your life had hit a wall? What if you whispered down the aisles of humanity that your life tended down and felt no feelings at all? What if you began to be convinced that you were a ghost?


Blood is thicker they say. Warmer, definitely. The red stuff dripped from his fingers. He could feel it, too, pooling under his shirt. His head was clear but all he could do was stare at the shafts leading into his chest. Three of them, altogether, leaving very little left of his heart. Is this the end?


Life is tough. Are we grateful for the time we have been given? Do you want to hide from the wounds that tear open the heart? Can you embrace the broken pieces to find a new start? Or don't you have the strength to try?


WHY? WHY? WHY? He crumpled to his knees. Tears mingled with his blood as he tried to grasp the arrows, grasp what had happened. I need…Your…Hand. I can't… can't.


'But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?"' - Romans 9:20
No. No, it won't. But even still God listens to our hearts, wants to hear them even! We have no right but He extends us the privilege anyways. Is He not glorious?! He holds me up, though I am on my knees. He keeps the pieces of my heart firm, though the arrows shatter it. And He gives me peace amidst my tears, my sorrow, my pain.


"…And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think…I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding onto something."
"What are we holding onto…?"
"That there's some good in this world… and it's worth fighting for." He is worth living for, and dying for. For God is the only good, the light in the darkness.

"Once the cards are dealt you have to play with them like it or not, you know."

"Every moment has pain and joy. The trick is focusing on the joy instead. That's the only way to live a happy life."

'I know how to be brought low, and how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.' - Philippians 4:12-13 [emphasis added]


He finally got his fingers behind the shafts. Grunting, tears running down his face, he pushed and pushed. Christ is my Savior, my strength, my all. He…is…my…Joy. Slowly, surely, the arrows went deeper. They sunk in, disappearing in the crimson stream of his life. I will be content. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord! He bent lower, hugging the wound close. Lord, thank you for my children. Thank you for blessing me.


Are you grateful for the time you have been given? Can you make out the beauty from broken bones? I tell you, not without God. Not without a Savior. Can you stand there and know that your life has hit a wall, that it is the end, and be able to get back up without God? No. Not with purpose, not with clarity, not with love and thankfulness and joy! Without Jesus what is there worth fighting for? Without Jesus it is the end! Darkness and danger have prevailed and there is no new day to dawn.

But God is here. Jesus is in our hearts, if you have accepted Him as the savior for your sins. He's piecing you back together from every blow. He's giving your heart joy that you might not even know. And though the end will come, know you will be exempt. For, those who Jesus saves it isn't the end. There is no end.

Friday, April 11, 2014

I Heard An Empty Saying…

I heard an empty saying,
Drifting down the hall.
It was quite clear the person saying,
Had no knowledge behind it at all.

A heartfelt, insipid something,
That was meant to be so true.
But when thought was used to investigate,
It made me want to puke.

“What’s true for you is not true for me,”
Others did intone.
I had to resist the urge to grab a big stick,
And strike them to the bone.

See, blithely spouting “knowledge,”
Is a pastime of the fool.
The Greeks thought it heavenly,
And so ended their rule.

But here we are again,
As history repeats.
In the land of Liberty,
Full of “knowledgeable” g(r)eeks.